Chapter 5

Joshua Tetley

( taken from an interview with West Deutsch Rundfunk Radio Station, Birgit Virnich)

WDR: "You have hundreds turn up at your gigs in Leeds now. Was it very different in the past?"

Xero, Louis and Gene collapse into fits of helpless laughter.

WDR: (also laughing) "......Tell me about those great successes."

Louis: "You mean when it was just us and the landlord. Us, the landlord and the person on the door"

Xero: "Yeah but Joshua's usually there in spirit isn't he?"

More laughter, followed by a moment’s silence

Xero: "Behind the bar, upside down usually"

WDR: (Totally mystified) "Who is Joshua?"

Xero & Louis (in unison) "Joshua Tetley"

WDR: (still nonplussed and wondering what the hell they are on about): "Oh yeah?"

Gene: " Mr Yorkshire "

Xero: "Yeah - Mr Yorkshire"

WDR: (starting to bristle) " Who is Mr Yorkshire...I don't know? "

Xero & Gene: (in unison): "Joshua Tetley!"

Xero: "Wears a red jacket and a silly hat and he's got a monacle and he's always looking at half a pint of beer....isn't he?"

Gene: "yeah"

Xero: "Everybody knows who Joshua Tetley is!"

WDR: " Well....I don't, and I don't suppose the people in Ger...."

Xero: "The Famous Brewing Magnate.....He's got a brewery in Leeds"

Louis: "That's the nicest thing about Europe.....Not having to buy your own drinks...the free beer"

Xero: "Yeah you play some gigs in England and you get paid and you spend it all on booze and you wind up with no money...just beer"

WDR: " So you used to get, like thirty five quid a night back then?"

Xero: " We used to....A long time ago.....In the olden days....When dinosaurs roamed the Earth"

WDR: "But why is it so difficult to get anywhere in your own country?"

Gene: ( almost shouting ): "Sharks!"

Xero: "Sharks! The world's full of sharks, with teeth like this, trying to rip us off and drag us down into the depths."

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